The Wise Report: 2/25/08- Its not selling Ice to the Eskimos, but its close

First, Gordon- Good luck with the interview, if you haven't already done it- Selling tickets to Marlins games is not exactly my idea of a good time but you're much more the salesman than I am.

I wish that someone would ruthlessly destroy Tiger Woods, and not that he would fall apart but that he would shoot -10 and then someone would come in and shoot -20. That is what I want to see. When he held up that trophy at the end of the WGC match yesterday he looked about as happy as a redneck at a rap concert. He may have been up there grinning but behind that smile he must have been thinking he could have beat Stewart Cink if he played lefty. Hes bored as shit. Luckily Golf is an individual sport so when Tiger gets bored it only effects Tiger.

Some way, some how, Bartolo Colon- The Fattest Man in Baseball- will end up winning the World Series for the BoSox. Don't get me wrong, I don't want this to happen, but it will- signing Bartolo to a minor league deal opens the door for a late season Schilling fall-out and Bartolo stepping in. Bartolo eats innings like they're donuts and when you get late in the year and start seeing some holes in the rotation its nice to be able to call down to Pawtucket and bring a guy like this up. This is the kind of guy that neither the Yanks or the Blue Jays have, they have their share of fat unproductive guys but not fat unproductive guys who can maintain a 4.5 ERA when they're pushing 400 lbs.

Never again should Will Ferrell be allowed to give the "Top Ten" plays on SportsCenter. Come on man you used to be funny: Will Ferrell speaking on a mullet: "What's they used to call that business in the front party in the back, oh those were the days." Cracka Please.